I talked to Melinda yesterday. The whole conversation started really well, I felt confident and thought I was totally stage five, it felt great. For those of you who don't know, the five stages of grief: Anger, denial, bargaining, depression, acceptance. I spent a lot of time in phase four, phase two & sometimes three coming back from time to time to haunt me. I thought I was in five now, though and that made me really happy.
Then she told me her next job assignment would be in the Far East. Alright, that didn't bother me at first. But the more I realised it and saw how she didn't have anything else to say about it, really. Before she broke up with me we had both hoped for her to get an assignment near me, so we could see each other more regularly. Though I was fully aware that would be different now, I secretly had hoped for it still to happen. Even though we would've been split up, I thought she might drop by (she was never in my country before and always wanted to go here at least once). A silly thought, but with that gone and the fact that she will stay there for at least a year, I guess I will never see her again.
Sure, the odds for that weren't great to begin with, but it kinda hit me again at that moment. Especially since she didn't care.
Seems I'll have to push my ego/self-esteem a bit further before I can really accept all of it. Meh.
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