Last night I had a moment of clarity. Thinking about a way to deal with the loss of my girlfriend, I saw how miserable my life is. Not only because she left me, which put me in a state of agony and apathy all by itself, but in general. Everything is in disarray around me and I am the only one to blame. I want to turn my life around. A goal I have set for myself several times in the past, but it never worked, I could never follow through.
Why do I think it will work this time? Because I pretty much hit bottom. Sure, I'm not starving or live on the streets, but that's mostly thanks to my parental monetary support. I have come to a point where I have only two choices: Kill myself or change something...everything. I can't stay in this hell that is my life, but my last shred of dignity keeps me from taking the easy way out. So this is the only possible way: Overhaul my life, rebuilding it in a way that it is worth living in.
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